I’m Alive!

Barely.

I’ve been sick, but I appear to be finally, FINALLY a bit on the mend. I can limp around my house, so that’s a start, right?

And, more importantly, I can be on the computer for a length of time again, wooooooooot! It turns out this is a good thing, because NaNo is right around the corner and I went and chose to write a story set during the WWII era. Er, which I know little to nothing about. Yikes! But I think it will be okay.

The best thing about all this is that for the first time in a long time, almost a year, I feel excited about writing again. Goddess bless NaNoWriMo–artificial or not, it is a habit I’ve created that works. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling the ambivalence that comes with wanting to be an author, and now I can feel the excitement and magical mystery that comes with actually writing. Being an author and writing are only partly the same thing in my head. Note my head is not the most rational place ever created.

Victoria Smith said it better, encapsulated how I’ve been feeling about the process.

For me, it turns out there’s nothing like a life-threatening fun filled painful illness to point out how wasteful worry is, and how important self-care is. And low and behold she’s right–when you really stop, the joy for the things you love is still there underneath all the layers. Including the joy of writing, underneath the worry of not being good enough, not being diligent enough, not wanting it enough, blah blah blah.

Regardless, I’m here, I’m hopefully back to a more active state of life if not totally 100% well yet.

Also–I fucking MET ALAN DOYLE of Great Big Sea. MET HIM. Was close enough to touch him. SQUEEEEE